Nothing Indeed!

"I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn’t educate America if they started at 6:30."

"I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens."

"Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the Reception was brilliant."

"For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out."